In the intricate dance of human interactions, setting healthy boundaries and expressing needs assertively can be transformative. These skills not only safeguard our well-being but also foster stronger relationships and personal growth. But this is probably something you've heard all before, right? And if you are reading this, then you know the importance and the value of it. So, if that's the case, then why do women just like you have so many issues around dating and relationships when it comes to setting boundaries.
3 Key Things to Remember about Boundary Setting and Why It's So Hard.
There's are 3 key things not discussed by most:
The first key thing is the idea of why the boundary is needed in the first place. There is always a root cause, and when talking about boundaries, the root cause is usually something that happened a long time ago so we've been in a pattern and momentum of not having a needed boundary with a certain person or in a particular circumstance that is on repeat in your life. As you can imagine, this can be a hard thing to shift when you have that momentum for quite some time as well as subconscious beliefs that are keeping you stuck in that cycle!
The second key thing is that most people do not know how to communicate the boundaries they'd like to have in their life. From your point of view, you are setting a boundary, and at times you feel you are effectively communicating your boundary, but oftentimes this is not the case. Another person listened to what you were saying, but they didn't really hear what you were saying because the way you communicated it to them either wasn't clear or was done in a way that triggered their defensiveness.
The third key thing is being inconsistent. You don't realize that awareness is not enough. That's why you've been aware of boundaries way before reading this blog, and are still in the same patterns. And if you think joining a group of ladies who are in the same situation to see clearly for you, then you are going to be mistaken. That just becomes the blind leading the blind. Many of those members or even your friends who are giving you advice, are giving it from their own lens of their experience and being in similar patterns. This can feel empowering at the moment, but it can be the very thing taking you away from your goal of having a healthy and connected relationship with your counterpart.
How you overcome these obstacles around setting and communicating boundaries.
In my program called The Dream Relationship program, I teach you the fundamentals so you know the root cause as to why it's so hard to set boundaries, how to communicate not just in dating and relationships, but in all areas of your life for consistency, and finally, I give you the accountability and direction so you can form lasting, healthy, consistent habits around your boundaries. If this sounds like something you are interested in, then click HERE and send me a DM with the word #Program, so one of my team members can get you the information you need to see if it's a fit for you.
In the meantime, I want to get you started with 3 powerful ways to practice how to communicate your boundaries effectively. I've also included a bonus tip that will really be an 'Ah Ha' moment for you and your self-awareness. Let's get started discussing these
#1 Use 'I' Statements: When you want to express your needs, framing your message with 'I' statements can make all the difference. Instead of saying, "You never listen to me," try "I feel unheard when our conversations get interrupted." By focusing on your feelings and perceptions, you steer away from blaming and create a space for open communication.
#2 Be Clear and Specific: Effective communication hinges on clarity. When expressing your needs, avoid ambiguity. For instance, instead of saying, "Can you help me with this?" try "Could you please review the report by tomorrow afternoon?" Being specific leaves no room for misinterpretation and saves everyone involved from frustration.
#3 Choose the Right Time and Place: Timing is everything. Imagine discussing a sensitive matter in a crowded coffee shop – not ideal, right? Select a suitable time and private setting for conversations where boundaries or needs are being addressed. This ensures that both parties can focus and engage without distractions.
Bonus Tip: Avoid Apologizing for Your Needs: Apologizing for expressing your needs undermines your assertiveness. Avoid phrases like "I'm sorry, but..." or "I know it's a bother, but..." When you avoid these disclaimers, you communicate that your needs are valid and deserve acknowledgment.
Incorporating these strategies into your interactions can lead to more productive conversations, better relationships, and personal empowerment. Remember, it's not about being confrontational – it's about standing up for yourself while respecting others. As you embrace these techniques, you'll navigate life's interactions with greater confidence and authenticity.
Ready to Take Your Relationships to the Next Level? If you're looking to enhance your dating and relationship skills, I'm here to guide you on that journey. As a dating and relationship empowerment expert, I specialize in helping individuals create meaningful connections and build fulfilling partnerships. But that's not all – I'm conducting market research and would love to chat with 30 remarkable ladies aged 35 and above, who consider themselves as having characteristics of being high achievers or high performers in their day to day interactions. In exchange for your insights, you'll receive a complimentary coaching session and a tailored action step to help you achieve your current goal.
Remember, high achiever or high performer doesn't need to mean your career or your back account, but how you show up for people or how you get things in your own personal life. It means your characteristic to do what it takes. If you find yourself second guessing or weeding yourself out before you even started, then you need this free coaching session more than most. If you're ready to embark on this transformative adventure in one call, reach out to me by clicking HERE to schedule your market research call today. Let's unlock your relationship potential together!